I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
