so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
