Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
