Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
