No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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