Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
