Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
