dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
