Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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