It's Friday. Sex?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
