i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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