good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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