Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
