the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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