Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
