my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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