the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
