youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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