I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Life is so much better after having sex.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
