Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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