By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
