I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
