she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I cut my penus on the lid.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
