Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
