We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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