If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
