It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
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I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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