TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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