Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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