So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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