the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
3 2 1 whiskey
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
so much tequila, so little girl.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
