my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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