Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Your penis caused this!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
