you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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