his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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