I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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