3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
false alarm. still invincible.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
