Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
