if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize