is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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