The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
