I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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