we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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