Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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