So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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