The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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