sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
