You really coming over, don't trick.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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