It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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