'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There's always time for handjobs
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
this hospital has no fireball
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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