A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
