Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
