I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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