Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
