get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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