Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
