can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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