You can't motorboat a personality
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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