she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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