I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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