He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
